A few thoughts from many years as a Pastor's wife.
So, you're going to a new Pastorate. There will always be a dominant woman
in any church, maybe even two of them.
Maybe that dominant woman is YOU, the Pastor's wife! In any case, a dominant
person can be a very real problem, OR can be a positive motivator in getting
things done. The trick is learning how to work with/alongside such a strong
personality without causing upset and disharmony.
There are also the quiet 'follower' women who sometimes don't want to get
too involved. Often this is because the stronger personalities have pushed
too hard and they've had enough of being pushed around. Their method of self
preservation is to quietly opt-out of involvement.
It is rarely a matter of "issues" but rather of attitudes that causes
problems. As the Pastor's wife, it is better to play a "low key" role to
preserve unity, than to insist on wanting it done your way!
At this stage of my life, after 45 years of ministry, I can look back and
see clearly the things that were not worth arguing about, and they are
always the peripheral things - never issues of theology, but rather how we
The important thing for me is to remember is that my primary role is to
"minister to the Minister", because if I don't, someone else might! So if
what I want to do impinges on my care for him, then I'd better re-think my