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Things That Only Women Understand
 
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. 
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but
eventually you find a hairstylist you like. 

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that
you once got from a roller coaster. 

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them
down somewhere and forget where they left them. 

One of the life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a woman
gain five pounds. 

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you
the questions. 

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. 

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. 

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right
place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. 

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. 

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. 

Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. 

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. 

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. 

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.
 
If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. 

You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop
laughing. 

I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese. 

I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and
setting my pantyhose on fire. 

Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two
sizes. 

It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips. 
Age is important only if you're cheese or wine. 

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a
baby. 

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. 

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually
be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. 

Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is DESSERTS" spelled backwards? 

- Source Unknown

 
rowland @ johnmarkministries . org
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